Is is funny the people we become when no one is watching; when physical eyes do not internalize with each blink the entities we are.

I could never express myself in spoken words in the way I do in those written--I censor enough on paper, and that filter chokes my voice and I become awkward and silent.

It is much the same for others for whom this world offers little refuge, whether it be from scrutiny or fear--we all wield a different expressive pen, brush, instument, voice, body, sword, etc. and we all internalize these methods through a unique pair of social, cultural, and moral eyeglasses.

This is where the much needed element of understanding is lost in translation-- among an ever-growing list of percieved needs. But it is here that we must draw the distinction between what we as creatures of this earth need versus what we simply want.

And here also we must rationalize what is needed to live sustainably--i.e. beyond civilization. And the answer to this is simply "not much." The only things I could ask from my neighbors would be support, understanding, and help. As a human, my basic needs are shelter, food, clothing, and community. Within community, the needs of love, understanding, support, and help are fulfilled.

It is not difficult to see that our civilization does not foster these ideals, as our culture is perpetuated by a death urge against all forms of life, nature and all things inherently natural, and any way of life that can not be profitable and where power cannot be assumed or gained over others. It is thus that we destroy indigenous communities, forests, landbases, oceans, individuals, women, children, men, animals, plants, rivers, mountians, the human and non-human spirit, etc.

And so we must wake up. We must internalize this culture and face it for what it is--our abusive Mother Culture. But it is dificult to convince a child that their mother is in fact killing them and all others--when we all have been pacified from birth on the teat of complaicency. With television, movies, art, books, music, computers, drugs, grocery stores, restaurants, cars, cigarettes, alcohol, writing, games, etc. to keep us occupied, unquestioning, and in a percieved state of safety and happiness... We become safe and we become happy--because those plastic representations of "safety" and "happiness" are all we have known... thus, they are.

The same goes for what "humanity" truly is and what is feels like and means to be a part of it. Neither you nor I know what humanity is. All we have known is civilization and its representation of the idea of humanity. I do not know, nor will I ever, what it means to be a part of a community. Thus is the way of our culture. It is pervasive thoughout the world, has been for centuries, and will continue to be.

All this said, it is possible that though mass internalization and an ensuing revolution that we could turn the tides of our indocrtination and return, once again, to living sustainably--whether that is off the land or through other means, but our culture is such that we will never be able to shake off this nightmare. It is through religion, subjugated education, cultural memes (i.e. life lessons, morals), often unspoken social laws, learned and implemented fear, hidden cultural premises, etc. that we become our culture, just as it becomes us.

It is once we can all hear and listen to Mother Culture that we can begin to refuse her and defy her. Then alternatives can be presented and reached, such that masses will recognize them as sane, sustainable, and desirable.

Often my words fall on deaf ears--those packed with the wax of Mother Culture. So I write. My words are here for anyone who so choses to read them. You may get something from this, and you may not. All I ask of you is to think about it. Never stop thinking and questioning. The only thing they can't take from you is your mind. So use it.

And if you're interested in what I've said... If you realize there is something very wrong with society and the world and your personal life... then listen hard--listen to the world, because it's crying with you. The dying salmon, extinct eskimo curlews, passenger pigeons, the dying rivers, melting icecaps, and dying redwoods... are all crying right there with you. They are hurting, whether you chose to listen or care or not. They are waiting for you to just listen, so they they too might just LIVE...

Just listen. What's worth it to you?